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「分手好難」- It’s Hard to Dump Someone - Key & Peele


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So, what do you wanna do tonight? Like, I was thinking maybe we could meet up with Amy and Brad, and, like, before that, we could go to Angelo's, and before that, we could, like, just go buy—
你今晚想幹嘛呢?我在想說我們可能可以去跟 Amy 和 Brad 見個面,然後在那之前,我們可以去 Angelo's 餐廳,在那之前,我們可以去買個--

Meegan! I have something to say. I had to say it in person because it's...it's, like, super important.
Meegan!我有事情要說。我必須親口對妳說,因為這...這非常重要。

Okay.
好。

Um. I know this is sudden. But, like, I've been thinking about this for a while. And I know that this is something that needs to happen. I'm breaking up with you.
嗯。我知道這很突然。但我已經想這件事情一陣子了。而我也知道這件事情非發生不可。我要跟妳分手。

Cool. Love it. Totally fine with that.
酷。讚喔。完全沒問題。

Re—really?
真--真的嗎?

Yeah.
對啊。

Because I thought... I was...was really worried that you're gonna be, like, mad.
因為我以為...我...我很擔心妳會超生氣。

Mad? Oh my God. Are you kidding me? No! Of course I'm not mad. People grow apart. It happens. It's, like, part of life. No. I'm totally fine. Like, love it, love it, love it.
生氣?我的天哪。你在開玩笑嗎?不!我當然不會生氣呀。人都會分開。常有的事。這就是生命的一部份。沒有啦。我完全沒事。很讚、很讚、非常讚。

Um... So... Uh, you, you—um, you know, we had a good run.
嗯...所以...呃,妳、妳--嗯,我們度過了很美好的一段時光。

Yeah.
對。

Don't be a stranger.
我們不要形同陌路。

Can I just... Can I ask why?
我可以就是...我可以問一下為什麼嗎?

Why?
為什麼?

Yeah, like, whatevs. Like, I'm doing some work on myself and, like, trying to grow as a person, so...
對呀,就隨意啦。我是想說要改進自己,試著要成長,所以...

Cool, cool.
好,當然。

...I really, like, appreciate to know why.
...如果你告訴我為什麼的話,我會感謝你。

Yeah, um. Okay, yeah, let's, like,... You know, I think that you're kind of, like, a controlling person.
好,嗯。好,對,我們來,就是...就是我覺得妳有一點,控制慾比較強。

Thank you. Thank you for that. That's nice. Thank you for that.
謝謝喔。謝謝你喔。很棒。謝謝你喔。

Cool. No problem.
好喔。不客氣。

So, you know what your problem is, Andre?
那你知道你自己的問題是什麼嗎,Andre?

What?
什麼?

You keep tabs on people. Every little thing somebody does, you have to keep a tab of it.
你是控制狂。別人做的一舉一動你都想要掌握。

Wait, I can't tell if you're angry or not.
等等,我現在看不出來妳是不是在生氣。

I'm not. Um. Totally not angry. No, I'm excited. It's good. It's just, like, you said your piece, and I just think that I deserve the human decency to say my piece.
我沒有。沒。完全沒生氣。沒有,我很興奮。這樣很棒啊。只是你既然有話直說,我覺得基於人類基本道義我也有資格有話直說。

Right, right.
當然、當然。

Is that... Is that not okay or...
這樣...這樣不行還是怎麼...

No, no, no. It's... No, of course, of course.
不、不、不。這...不,當然可以,當然。

You're a controlling, manipulative person. Everyone says it.
你就是控制慾超強的控制狂。大家都這樣講。

Rea—I, I, I don't think that I am.
真的--我、我、我不覺得我是這樣耶。

Yes, you are, Andre. Yes, you motherf***ing are.
是,你是,Andre。是,你他*的就是。

Okay, now you sound pretty angry.
好,妳現在聽起來超不爽的。

I'm not angry! I'm not angry. I'm fine. I love it! I love that you came to my house and you broke up with me in my space, and then when I think about that every time I'm here, that's great; that is so perfect for me. It's the best thing that's ever happened in my life.
我沒有不爽!我沒有不爽。我很好。超棒的啊!我非常喜歡你來我家,在我家跟我分手,之後我每次在這裡就會想到這件事情,真的太棒了;實在太完美了。真是我一生中最棒的事了。

Where...where else was I supposed to do it? Because you won't come to my house.
我還能在哪裡...哪裡做這件事情嘛?因為妳又不來我家。

Oh, here he is. The puppet master is back.
喔,又來了。控制狂又回來了。

But I'm not—I'm not the puppet master.
但我不是--我不是控制狂。

Why are you doing this to me?
為什麼你要這樣對我?

It's true. You won't come to my house. You said my apartment looks like two rats just s**t in it every f**king day.
但這是真的。妳又不來我家。妳說我的公寓像是他*的每天都有兩隻老鼠在裡面拉屎。

Oh, right, like, thank you for that. I'm a b***h. Thank you, thank you.
喔,好,謝謝你喔。我就是賤人啦。謝謝喔,謝你喔。

I didn't call you—I didn't say "b***h." I didn't say—
我沒這樣叫你--我沒說妳是「賤人」。我沒說--

So, which is it? Am I evil or am I a b***h?
好啊,那我是怎麼樣?我是很邪惡還是賤人?

No, no, you're not evil, Meegan. You're not—
不、不,妳沒有很邪惡,Meegan。妳沒有--

Oh, then why are you punishing me?
噢,那為什麼你還要這樣懲罰我?

I'm not punishing you! I'm not—
我沒有在懲罰妳!我沒有--

Oh, you broke up with me, and I'm not supposed to feel punished. Who thinks like that?
喔,你跟我分手,但我不應該覺得我被處罰了。到底誰會這樣想啊?

I don't know! I can't—I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay, Meegan? I guess I didn't think it through.
我不知道!我沒辦法--對不起!對不起,好嗎,Meegan?我可能沒仔細想清楚。

Well, it's, like, too late now. I mean we're done.
好了,反正來不及了。我們已經結束了。

No, it's not too late. Meegan, Meegan, seriously. I just—well, I had a feeling that I thought was true, and clearly, clearly, it wasn't true.
不是,還來得及,Meegan,Meegan,真的。我只是--我一直有種感覺,我以為那是真的,但很顯然,顯然不是真的。

I'm so confused. Like, are you breaking up with me or are you not breaking up with me?!
我現在被你搞混了。你現在是要跟我分手還是沒有要跟我分手?!

Meegan! I'm not breaking up with you!
Meegan!我沒有要跟妳分手!

Okay, cool. So, what do you wanna do tonight? Like, I want to hang out with Amy and Brad, but maybe before that, we could go to Angelo's...
好喔,酷。那你今晚想要做什麼?我想要去跟 Amy 和 Brad 見面,但在那之前,我們可以去 Angelo's 餐廳...

What just happened?
剛剛到底發生了什麼?

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