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「跟過去的自己解釋武漢肺炎」- Explaining the Pandemic to My Past Self


框選或點兩下字幕可以直接查字典喔!

Oh, whoa. Who are you?
噢,哇喔。妳是誰?

I'm Julie from four months in the future.
我是四個月後的 Julie。

Actually? Are you here to tell me what's gonna happen?
真假?妳是來告訴我之後會發生什麼事情嗎?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, because of the butterfly effect, I can only really give you, um, some loose details, but we'll go through the basics, yeah.
對。對,但是因為會有蝴蝶效應,所以我只能給妳,呃,一些粗略的線索,但我們會講一下基本的,對。

Okay. Cool.
好耶。酷。

So, do you want the good news or the bad news?
那妳想要先聽好消息還是壞消息?

Oh, um, good, good news?
噢,好...好消息?

Oh. Great choice. Yeah. Cool, cool, cool. Um, so, things have never been better for climate change.
喔。選得好。對。酷酷酷。嗯,就是說,氣候變遷的狀況好轉,好到不能再好了。

Well, that's great.
那很棒耶。

Dolphins in the Venice canals.
威尼斯運河裡面有海豚。

Really?
真的假的?

I know, I know. Well, it's the... I mean, I saw it on Facebook; I don't know if it's a real thing. My aunt posted it, but it seems pretty legit.
很讚吧,我知道。那是...我的意思是,我是在 Facebook 看到的啦;其實我不知道到底是不是真的。我阿姨 po 的,看起來超像真的啊。

Okay, well, that's—I mean, that's incredible. You know, especially given the Australian wildfires.
好啦,那真的--我覺得很令人讚嘆耶。畢竟因為澳洲才剛發生森林大火。

The what...? Oh, yeah.
森什麼...?喔,對齁。

Because, I mean, those are pretty, like—I think those are gonna be the defining feature of 2020.
因為我覺得這件事情很--這應該會是 2020 年最大條的事情了。

Yeah, you'd think...
對,這是妳這樣認為啦...

Oh, no?
喔,所以不是嗎?

Not even a little bit.
完全沾不上邊呢。

Really? Wait, because they're...they're a pretty big deal.
認真?等一下,因為那真的...很嚴重啊。

Yeah, your definition of "a pretty big deal" is gonna change. For sure.
對啦,但妳對「嚴重」的定義會大大改變。沒騙妳。

Wow. Okay, so, what is the bad news, then?
哇嗚。好喔,那壞消息是什麼?

You are gonna wanna pull all your investments.
妳會想要把妳投資的錢全部收回來。

What?
蛤?

Yeah, just, yeah, get everything out of the stock market.
對,反正就,趕快把股票全部賣掉。

Oh! Oh, it's a recession.
喔!喔,會有經濟蕭條。

And you know what? Put a little money in Zoom.
喔對,妳知道嗎?建議妳買點 Zoom 的股票。

Isn't that a conferencing app?
那不是開會用的應用程式嗎?

Yes. Trust me.
沒錯。相信我。

Okay.
好喔。

While we're being proactive here, actually, if you could just do a Costco run real quick, it's gonna save you a lot of hassle.
反正我們現在都要採取積極行動了,那不如妳現在去跑一趟好市多採購一下,會幫妳省掉很多麻煩喔。

Costco?
好市多?

Do you have any hobbies? You know, just something to keep you busy?
妳有沒有什麼興趣啊?就是讓妳有事做的那種嗜好?

Um...I...no. Not really.
嗯...我...沒有。不算有什麼嗜好欸。

You should get a dog.
妳應該養條狗。

I want a dog. You know I want a dog. I just...there are a lot of work. And you gotta walk; you gotta go outside with them twice a day.
我想要養呀。妳知道我一直都想養狗。但我...工作太多了。妳還要陪狗狗散步;一天要陪他們散步兩次。

Right. The walk's gonna be clutch.
對。能溜他們真的是要心懷感激。

Right, but I mean...I have to leave them because I have so much travel coming up.
是啦,但我的意思是說...我要一直通勤,只能把他們丟在家裡。

No, you don't.
沒有,不會。

But, yeah, I travel for work.
但要啊,我要通勤上班。

Oh, you won't be working.
噢,妳不會去工作。

But how do I afford stuff?
那我怎麼有錢買東西?

Do you take vitamins? Or juice?
妳有沒有在吃維他命啊?還是喝果汁之類的?

No.
沒有。

Okay, it might be a good time to just, you know, get that body in tip-top shape. Get strong. Get those lungs a pump-in. You know. Cardio. A little aerobics.
好,現在可能會是個好時機,練個完美的身材。練強壯一點。鍛鍊妳的肺。妳知道。有氧運動。跳點有氧舞蹈。

What the hell is gonna happen?
到底會發生什麼事情啊?

Look, I know. It all sounds scary, but it's really not that bad. You know, for you. Right. I mean, for some people, it's...it's not. But for you, it's really not bad. Um...I would... You know, would you rather be in a busy shopping mall or at home on the couch watching Netflix?
聽著,我懂。全部聽起來都很恐怖,但其實沒那麼糟啦。就是,對妳而言啦。好啦。我的意思是說,對某些人來說,就很...很糟。但對妳來說,真的沒那麼糟。嗯...我會...就是,妳會想要去人擠人的購物中心還是窩在家裡的沙發上看 Netflix?

A couch?
沙發?

Exactly.
沒錯。

You're gonna be just fine.
妳會沒事的啦。

Okay.
好喔。

What do you know about the world of big cats?
那妳對大型貓科動物了解多少?

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